Reuters AP: June 16th, 2009.
The economy is hurting every industry. From soda sales to stuffed animals. Even our national past time is taking a serious hit. Condom sales have steadily declined over the past few months. Oh what to do!? I recently sat down with the representatives from some of the major condom suppliers in the country and was shocked to find that even these guys were worried about the future of the industry. Lifestyle Larry, Donny Durex and of course Trojan Man met me at a Starbucks on Sunset Blvd. here in Los Angeles. They’ve asked me to keep their identities a secret but here is a picture of what they might look like. Donny is on the left.
“To be quite honest I haven’t burst into many hotel rooms lately. What with the economy, hotels are increasingly less full.” said Trojan Man.
“It comes down to the fact that people are drinking near enough. They are spending their money on more important things like bills and rent. Alcohol was our best enabler. Condom sales are fueled by the liquor industry.” imparted Donny Durex.
It’s really unfortunate to see such iconic figures in such dire straights. However because condoms are so damn expensive girls have become more and more accepting of “unsafe” sex.
“It’s not so much as unsafe, it’s just plain dangerous!” exclaimed Lifestyle Larry. That’s when the interview took a funny turn. One of the patrons at the coffee shop had been eavesdropping the entire time. He chimed in, “listen fellas, the reason why condom sales are plummeting is because they are way too expensive, and for the most part are boring. The sex itself is not that great when you wear them!”
It is still up in the air as to who wins in this argument. All we know for sure is that even condoms are not recession proof.
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