I don’t believe in it. I’ve never believed in it. Scientific studies have disproven it. But still, a lot of people believe. People I work with swear it’s true. Most of the time, I just raise my right eyebrow, do my best Mr. Spock imitation, and stare at them for a moment. But last night, it was a full moon, or close enough not to matter, and I just don’t know anymore. I may be ready to give in, and join the ranks of the true believers. I think it was the porno being filmed at the slaughterhouse that may have been the final straw.
Some nights are nice and quiet. Nothing much goes on. The occasional barking dog complaint, or loud music from the neighbors. Other times, it seems like the whole county has gone nuts, and they’ve all ended up having 9-1-1 called on them. And you never know when it will be. There is little rhyme or reason to it all. Oh, after paydays you can expect a burst. And three day weekends are usually good for a wild ride. I can predict just about when things will start taking off those days. Especially during football season. They’re home all weekend. They started drinking Friday night. The fighting usually starts Saturday sometime. It generally starts small, little snips and jabs at each other early in the day. Then someone’s team loses. A beer was spilled. An old argument reappears. The fights are on! And they continue right up till early Tuesday morning. Ahhh… the wonders of alcohol. But I digress, the alcohol stories are for another time, and another blog.
Last night started off kind of slow. I came in at 5 p.m., and set up to take phone calls for the first part of my shift. The first 20 minutes or so, not much happened. Probably just about the time the Moon began peaking over the Sierra’s is when the weird stuff started.
First out of the chute, a suicide in the south county. It’s always sad when we take those calls. You always wonder what could have been so bad that someone would take their own life over it. I spoke with a man who found his nephew in his bedroom. All you can do is delicately try to find out if what happened really was a suicide, or if a homicide occurred. This was a suicide, and it’s just a lousy way to start a night.
Next, I took a call about a burglary in progress. The caller was trying to detain some people who went into his neighbor’s house while they were out of town. I’m talking to this man as he’s confronting burglars! Not a good idea. Fortunately for him, they were unarmed, lived in the area, and for some reason thought they could walk into this house. So he’s there yelling at me to get the cops there “right now!”, and he’s yelling at them for being in the house. And they are arguing with him about it! I’m listening to all this, because he’s stopped answering my questions, and is arguing with the suspects! Lucky for everyone involved, the deputies got there quick and sorted things out. Seems like some of the neighbors are just a little weak on the concept of private property, and got a good talking to by the cops about going into other peoples houses. Now the next call I expect from this area is when the homeowner gets back, and busybody goes to tell them what happened while they were gone.
Shortly after that call, I got the absolute worse call of the night (from a call-takers perspective). A teenager. Female. Apparently the dumbest teenager in her town. She was trying to report what I would eventually decide was the car-jacking of a motorcycle by an armed suspect. But it took me at least three times as long as it should have to figure it all out because this ditzy little girl could not make herself speak a coherent line to save her life! She kept drifting away from the answer to my questions and contradicting what she just said a moment before. I finally just got the basics, her name, address, and what I think she was reporting, and sent the local police to figure it out. I still don’t know what happened on this one. That happens a lot in my line of work. You only get part of the story. That drives the newbies nuts. They want some closure, or follow up. Me, anymore I really don’t care. I can probably tell you what the outcome was just from some scant details. And when it’s really slow and we get a weird call, we sometimes sit around and come up with our own “background” stories, and what was REALLY going on!
After a while, things slowed down, and people began behaving themselves pretty well. Most of the rest of the night was the usual loud music calls. Even a couple of churches had the neighbors calling because some kind of get-together was too loud. Apparently a “joyous noise” isn’t to the neighbors trying to watch television!
You’re wondering when I’m going to get to the porno in the slaughterhouse, aren’t you? Ok, right now.
We took a call about some kind of fight, out in this old slaughterhouse. It’s been abandoned for a long time. For a while, it was used by paintball warriors to play war games, but even that was some time ago. It’s been deserted for years. Deputies get out there, and find a strange sight. Three gals, two guys, and video gear. They are in this old pig slaughterhouse, and getting ready to shoot their own little porno movie! Apparently, the ex-boyfriend of one of the girls didn’t want his ex in a porno…. at least not not in someone elses’ porno. So he shows up and the fight is on! As is often the case, deputies arrive and sort things out, trying to maintain an air of professionalism. After a while, “Code 4″ and units clear the scene. I don’t think the movie was completed this night. And I’m not even going to list some of the names that might be appropriate for this venue…. I’m sure you can come up with something yourselves!
The Moon’s latin name is Luna. Hence the words “lunatic” and “lunacy”. So appropriate this Sunday night.
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